My husband has been gone to a conference for the last 4 days. It has been me and my children. Here. Alone. Together. I love them I really do. They can be exceptionally funny. They can be absurdly adorable. They can also be totally lovable.
Then there are the other times. The times where I try to tell my 2 year old daughter 'No' and get screamed at by Linda Blair. Or I ask my 5 year old to pick something up and suddenly his arms are tired, his head hurts, he's sleepy. And the whining... The whining never seems to end. The whining always seems to accompany tattelling. "Mom, Claudia has my chicken." "Moooooommmmm, Clyde is on my side." I didn't even know that I had designated lap sides .
By the end of the day I feel like I may strangle some one. I'm so worn out I don't get the projects done that I have planned. I always think that I can get sooooo much done being home in the evening by myself. I do get a lot of time lying on the couch thinking about what I should be doing but nothing else really gets accomplished.
It makes me feel like a bit of a failure, a slacker at the very least. My husband always manages to get so much done when it's him and the little ones. They leave him alone, does what he says, life is good. When it's just me and them they can't leave me alone. I get very little down time. My personal space is just about non-existent. I become a yeller. I hate being a yeller. I want my children to listen to me when I use a calm tone of voice. I want to be able to control myself and USE my calm voice.
I don't like them getting the better of me. I don't like feeling like a crazy lady. I don't like giving in. But I do. I give in. As the day comes closer to an end I start finding myself saying OK to things I should really say no to. Or saying OK to things that I've just said no to a gazillion times. I know I'm supposed to be consistent and not give up but man are they good at chipping away at me. How do kids know this? DO they start having discussions about it at playgroups even when the are pre-verbal? It's a conspiracy I tell ya. How can I love these little beings so much and yet want to lock them in a sound proof box?
Anyone have any magical dust they can send me to fix all this?
2 comments:
are you in my head??? I sure do understand!
Hey there!
I know... it's such a love/hate relationship with our children... you love them, they hate you... it gets better with time... Time for Mom that is!
Take the time each day to enjoy a moment... or a nanosecond, whichever comes first! You'll be better able to handle the stuff they throw your way--- but saying No will still be hard.LOL:)
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